I almost had a psychic girlfreind... She Dumped me before we met.
Five people in a boat with a pack of cigarettes but no matches. How are they able to smoke?
Throw one cigarette overboard which made them a cigarette lighter.
What I know about smart cars?... Very little.
I prefer my Kale without the K.
Give a man an airplane ticket and he will fly for a day, throw a man from an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life.
What is the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?... One is really heavy...the other is a little lighter.
Viagra shipment stolen... cops looking for a gang of hardened criminals.
There was a break-in at the police department and all the toilets were stolen... The investigation has gone cold as police officers have nothing to go on.
Today you are the oldest that you have ever been; You are also the youngest you’ll ever be.
Let that sink in. Not sure what he wants but he’s a pretty slick dude.
Cheeto Mussolini
Young Folks:
What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?... Just put it on my bill.
Bad Idea:... Taking a dog named shark to the beach.
[Draw a duck on a piece of paper] [point to parts and have victom repeat part names]... Wing wing wing. Hello.
What do you call it when a Ninja Pig hits you?... A pork chop.
What is a Ninja Pigs favorite drink?... Wataah!.
What happens to a frogs car when it breaks down?... It gets toad.
A weasel walks into a restaurant. The waiter says What can I get you?... Pop goes the weasel.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?... A gummy bear.
I don’t really like beards but this one kind of grew on me.
Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks?... Minnesota.
What kind of train eats too much?... A choo-choo train.
Bar talk:
When Sweden plays Denmark the scoreboard will read:... SWE-DEN
The remaining unused letters are:... DEN-MARK.
R Rated:
Shipment of Viagra was Stolen:... Police are searching for a gang of hardened criminals.
Words Test